


Must Be The Season Of The Witch

by un1c0rntea



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fantasy, Multi, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/un1c0rntea/pseuds/un1c0rntea
Summary: Something I wrote last year. Howard and Vince are witches and they go to an academy where something weird happens. I love crystals so I threw a few of my faves in here!
Relationships: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thought it would be fun to have Tom Meeten as Dean. 
> 
> Original characters are Penelope, Billie, Dean and Charles.
> 
> Songs are however you choose to read them. Have fun!

"Howard, you alright in there! Howard!!" Vince said banging on Howard's bedroom door, then leaning on it. He could hear things being thrown on the floor and a crimp of which he couldn't quite make out. Then the door handle went, knocking Vince slightly off balance and out emerged a very distressed looking Howard. 

"I can't find it Vince. Oh No. Oh No. I can't find it."

"Woah woah. Find what? Slow down"

"My Honey Calcite."

Vince rolled his eyes, Howard was always losing his crystals, especially after a ritual or spell. 

"I've turned the house upside down Vince, literally - upside down crimp spell."

Vince scratched his head. "What's honey calcite do again?"

"It helps with my confidence Vince, I NEED that little crystal of joy, Sir." He said shaking him by the shoulders. 

"Alright don't panic." He brushed him off. "Where did you see it last?"

"Ok. Lemme think. Um I was listening to Artie Shaw….I...I had it under the moon last night."

"Right. And where did the moonlight shine the best last night. Think yeah?"

"Well um. I was sitting outside..."

They both thought about it for a moment and then realising, they clicked at the same time. "Garden chair." And with that Howard ran to the garden rather manically, leaving Vince looking at himself in Howard's bedroom mirror to check his eyeliner. He placed his hands on his face, pulling at the skin under his eyes to reveal the pink bits inside and groaned. Howard came back with a skip in his step holding the crystal. 

"Got it! Haha! Thank the universe. All charged up as well. Oh yes that confidence will come flooding over me like a tidal wave, Sir." Then he got a glance at Vince who was now applying his dark purple lipstick and huffing and puffing. "What's wrong?" Then placing a hand on his shoulder. "Nervous, little man?"

"I just don't see why we can't go to an actual Witch Academy like normal witches do." Then he rubbed his lips together and screwed the skull top back on.

"I mean why do we have to go to some average non magical academy?" They went through to the ritual room where Vince had to move greenery out the way. Howard grew a lot of plants for certain roots and vegetables which he used for ailments. Vince made a disgusted face and grabbed his black gothic hat from the medicine table and placed it on top of his head with one hand. Howard pulled on his black corduroy coat, crescent moon pendant and matching dangly earring, then dragged out two strands of brown hair with his fingers. It was usually curly, but Vince straightened it for him while he was sleeping sometimes.

"Hey c'mon now it won't be that bad. Might be more witches, like us. You never know."

"Doubt it. I mean it's called Lame House, Howard."

He sighed dropping his head. "It's Lamé Vince, it's French."

"Ha. Witch please, it's fucking lame. Eeurgh I feel a bit sick" He said putting his black leather, fingerless gloves on. Howard shoved something into Vince's mouth which made his eyes go wide.

"Eat this. Artichoke. Relieves nausea."

Vince chewed slowly and with a disgusted look on his face. "Almost ruined my lipstick, you prick! It hasn't set yet."

"Any chance to try out some remedies, Sir. I am the herbal witch after all. Lemme know if that works yeah? Throughout the day."

"Yeah of course. Whatever. Mm. D'you think the leather skirt with the black fishnets is too much?" He said gesturing to his outfit, chewing the remaining artichoke. 

"Vince, I think everything you wear is too much. Just wear it. We're gonna be late." Vince started to walk but then picked up a leg and pointed. "And the heel boots?" Howard shoved him out the door.

* * * * *

Howard and Vince were standing in a corridor covered in motivational posters, vibrant red walls surrounded them and students could be heard shouting and laughing and just generally moving about. 

"Eurgh. This place is way too bright." Said Vince pulling his hat down over his eyes and one elbow on Howard's shoulder, leaning slightly. 

"Shhh Vince. Don't be rude, yeah?" Just then a girl in yellow doctor martens, a black collar, a very yellow jumper and a black and yellow chequered skirt skipped over to them and jumped. She was shouting, but it was almost like she was singing.

"HI HIDEE HI. WELCOME TO LAMÉ HOUSE! I'M PENELOPE!"

"I'm gonna throw up." Vince said under his breath. Howard gave him a little slap causing his mouth to open wide as if to say  _ how dare you. _ Penelope had two curly blonde pig-tails, a thick black headband and freckles. Her lips were painted hot pink and her eyeliner was winged. Her nails were painted black on one hand and yellow on the other.  _ She could definitely colour co-ordinate _ thought Vince. She was holding a clipboard under her arm and her emerald green eyes were darting between the boys.

"I'm here to show you around our facilities and give you a tour of the house! LET'S MOOOOOVE." She gestured to Howard and Vince, then walked ahead with a skip in her step once more. Howard licked his lips and then said to Vince.

"Yeah, she's a bit bonkers isn't she?."

"Uh. Yeah!" They followed on behind her rolling their eyes. Vince and Howard were either side of Penelope and they had their hands on their school bags.

"Soooo what's your guys' names?

"Howard Moon, nice to meet you." He lifted his hand like a wave, but Penelope high fived it, which made him think  _ o.kayyy _ .

Vince did a rock n roll hand. "I'm Vince Noir."

Penolope turned around and was walking backwards in front of them now "Wow! Those names are so cool. SOOO COOOL!" Then she put her hand on her heart "Uh I have to introduce you to Billie soon, she'd go gaga for you guys! AND OH MY LIFE. I LOVE YOUR SKIRT VINCE. I have that one too! SO GORGE!!"

"Thanks." Vince said through gritted teeth, thinking that he was probably going to have to burn it when he got home now, as he hated having what others had and looking like 'normals'.

"Don't mention it. Oh one second. I've gotta get the pass key for the classroom. Stay right there." She skipped over to the other side of the corridor. Vince tapped Howard on the shoulder and put his tongue in the top corner of his mouth.

"Howard. Can I turn her into a corn snake?"

"Vince! No! Absolutely not!"

"Oh come on, just for a little while so we get some peace?"

"No!" Penelope came back and waved the card around frantically that was hanging from her neck on a lanyard.

"GOT THE KEYYYY. FOLLOW MEEEE!" As she was opening the door, Vince mouthed to Howard "Mute spell?" He mouthed back "Shut Up!" Then Vince held onto his amethyst ring to keep himself calm and they went inside the classroom where inductions were about to take place.

"You guys'll get one of these too, don't worry!" 

A jolly tune came over the PA system and Penelope along with other students that were filtering in began to sing with their hands on their hearts. It wasn't a very lyrically genius number.

_ Oh Lamé Lamé we love you so. _

_ You are the one true love I know. _

_ May you always stand real strooooong. _

_ Charles Lamé made up this soooooong. _

"Pretty soon, you guys will learn that! I've got lyric sheet print outs in Comic Sahns." She pronounced it really posh dragging out the ah sound.

Howard nervously played with his pendant and said, "That is quite an anthem you got going on there little lady. Do we need lyrics though?...I mean I'm sure you worked really really hard on it, but um y'know it's not exactly Shakespeare is it?" 

Penelope shoved Howard playfully and then returned her hand to her clipboard.

"Haha! You're such a joker Howard, I'm already learning so much about you!"

"Well once you read the blurb, you'll want to uh...read the whole book." Howard stuck his tongue out and ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh. You're an author. Nice!"

Howard felt a little sorry for her not getting his clever wordplay, but the serious tone in how Penelope said this made it funny. 

Vince held in a laugh but it made him cough, he could not believe how thick Penelope was and suddenly he felt smart. He pulled himself together and then asked, "So. Did Charles Lame - Lamé build the House then?"

"Yes that's right he did! With his bare hands and his shirt off. In the blazing heat." Then she put a hand up to the side of her face. "Apparently he suffered 5 different types of sunburn!."

"Wowhahow! I didn't know there was 5 different types of sunburn! What are they?"

"Red....Severe...Haha! Oh I can't remember." She shrugged. 

"Right. And was Charles French?" Asked Howard.

"Nope. Australian."

"O.K."

"Oo anyway you guys are all ticked off so enjoy your day! Lunch is served in...ba ba ba...10 minutes. BYE!" And she left the room.

* * * * *

The canteen was a huge hall filled with people chatting away. They would glance at Howard and Vince when they walked past them and then back at their friends, gossiping. 

Vince and Howard held their lunch trays and walked slowly to try and find 2 empty seats.

"I think people are talking about us, Vince."

"You're getting paranoid. You been smoking my stash?"

"No. I'm serious little man, I can feel eyes on me. We gotta shake em off, Sir." Just as they were thinking of where they would sit a deep voice called to them.

"You can sit next to me if you want." They both turned around slowly and looked him up and down, then the man said.

"Don't really care whether you do or don't but...offer's there." 

"Um. Thanks." They sat down opposite the man. He had brown curly hair underneath a black fedora, gorgeous brown skin and smoky brown eyes, and was wearing eyeliner. His clothes were all black, but silver, sparkling feathers covered the neckline of his long overcoat. He looked up from his tray of food and said "I'm Saboo by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Sir."

"Lemme guess." He pointed towards them. "Howard. Vince?"

"How did you-"

"Psychic."

"Wow that's well cool. You can read minds?"

"Mhm. Since I was little really. I can also do this." Saboo's tray lifted up gently from the table and floated there before he brought it back down again. 

"Woah there. Are you…" Howard asked, then looked around, lowering his voice, "Are you a witch?"

Saboo raised an eyebrow and nodded subtly. 

"This is amazing. A psychic witch! Haha! I'm a healer myself, I create ailments and uh Vince deals with the rituals and such."

Saboo nodded while chewing his food, then gave Vince a cheeky look.

"Always losing his crystals right?"

"Haha! Yeah! You would not believe how many times that's happened. But you probably know that, being psychic and all!" Howard shrugged the comments off and laughed in Vince's face like  _ I'm gonna kill you later.  _ Saboo chose to ignore that thought and then put his knife and fork down. 

"I don't say this a lot, but I like you guys…" Vince and Howard smiled at him. "Aaaand now I'm gonna leave cos Penelope's coming. Not a fan. Catch ya later!"

"Oh fuck!" Said Vince trying to hide himself with his hat. Penelope floated over holding two plastic wallets under her arm.

"HIIII COOL CATS, Enjoying lunch?"

"Yep, y'know just eating in peace...just the two of us...enjoying each other's company."

"Yeah just us two." Vince chimed in hoping that she would get the hint and leave them alone to eat together. "OH!...Ohhhh. Don't worry about it. Listen. I just came to give you your lyric sheets and timetables! SEE YOU SOOOON!" Then she marched off imitating a trumpet.  _ "OH LAMÉ LAMÉ WE LOVE YOU SO _ ….."

"She's fucking insane I swear."

"I know….That is not an accurate trumpet sound. It should be more brassy, rich and sexy like a tiger chicka chicka." Vince sighed deeply and kicked Howard in the shin underneath the table. 

* * * * *

Some time later after their first lesson Howard and Vince had retreated to the boy's toilets to blow off some steam. Vince was sat on the sink, kicking his feet and smoking a cigarette that he lit with his finger tips. Howard was biting his lip and fixing his eyeliner in the mirror next to him. Vince exhaled a long puff of grey smoke.

"I can't believe this place, I mean what the fuck do I need decimal points for?"

"I dunno Vince, I don't get involved with numeracy yeah? I'm a man of action, not a mathematician."

"You dress like one though."

Howard looked at Vince in the mirror "Shut your face. Does this look ok?"

"Looks fine. Brings out your eyes actually." He put the cigarette back in between his dark purple lips and inhaled.

"Yeah?

"Mm."

"Thanks Vince."

"But seriously Howard I dunno how much more of this I can take."

"What? You mean..?" Howard began to imitate the House's Anthem.

" _ Oh Lamé Lamé we love you so..." _

__ Vince laughed holding the cigarette between his fingers. 

"Fucking stop, I'm gonna choke!"

_ "You are the one true love I know.." _

"Haha! Howard you'll split my sides. I've just been to the toilet."

Howard began to march around the bathroom and caress his nipples in a crass way. He was taking the piss. 

_ "Oh Lamé I wanna suck your tits, Ooh I wanna lick you up and down, Sir." _

Vince jumped off the sink and joined in, cigarette still in hand. 

_ "Pull my hair Lamé." _ Then bending over the hand washing area  _ "Take me over the sink, you saucy bitch!" _

Howard mimed thrusting from behind 

_ "I'm Charles Lamé. Ooh feel my sunburn Sir. Haha!" _

_ "Oooo I love you so. Hahahahaaa!" _

Just then someone walked in. They had an American accent and brown eyes.

"Am I uh..interrupting something?"

Vince and Howard straightened themselves up, as well as magically blowing out the cigarette. They cleared their throats and babbled. "No. No. Us? No. We. Don't be silly. Ah. Haha." Vince leaned up against the cubicle door and pretended to carry on smoking. Howard went back to the mirror and fiddled with his hair.

The man had short, electric blue hair, a black leather jacket and trousers to match. On his feet were a pair of blue cowboy boots and his nails were the same colour as his hair. He walked over to the sink, facing opposite Vince and then pulled a cigarette out also. "Y'know you guys really shouldn't smoke in here. Then putting it in his mouth. "You shouldn't smoke at all really, it's bad for ya." Howard and Vince looked at him confused, they thought he was a hypocrite.

Howard turned around and folded his arms.  "Right you are Sir, filthy habit, I try and tell him but he won't stop haha! And you are?"

"Name's Dean."

"Alright Dean?" He lifted his chin. "Vince Noir."

"Howard Moon."

"Pleased to meet ya boys." It was silent for a while and then.

"Look I'm not gonna shoot the shit, you guys are witches right?" Howard blinked really fast and went,

"That's impossible, how did you know?" Dean looked across at Vince and pointed with his cigarette.

"You're not really smoking right now. You put that out when I came in. Didn't stub it though. But a certain uh click of Howard's fingers here and...Well...I don't need to go on do I?"

Vince had his mouth wide open before he bit his lip. His face was of arousal and surprise, whereas Howard's was just plain shock.

"Can't be a coincidence right? Anyway." Dean clicked his fingers, blowing out his own cigarette. He raised his eyebrows. "Catch you guys later." Then he swaggered out the bathroom.

"Woah! That's the second witch we've encountered today." Said Vince.

"I've got a feeling we're not the only ones."

Back at home, Howard was in the bath filled with pink lotus flowers, petals and milk, as Vince told him it would keep his skin soft and supple, as well as reduce his anxiety. Howard had also put a drop of lavender in there to help him sleep better tonight. He was completely relaxed with his arms over the edge of the bath, suds of conditioner in his hair, candles lit and singing along to the radio.

_ "I put a spell on you, ba ba ba ba BA BA! because you're miiiiiiine. Stop the things you do! AHA WHAHAHAHOO! I AIN'T LLYING!" _

Meanwhile in the ritual room, complete darkness accompanied by the faint sound of Howard's singing, the strike of a black fingernail, and an orange flickering light illuminating Vince's facial features. He lit a few candles around him and then blew his finger out and shook out the smoke. Then over the crystal ball he began to use his hands and begin an incantation.

_ "Crystal ball, shooow me. Shoooow me. Mmmm what Jagger's doing. Oooo show me what he's up to. Is he trying on clothes or is he at Tesco metro?" _

Just then, the crystal ball reacted and Vince's jaw dropped and his sparkling blue eyes lit up. "Wow. That is well cool." He did this a lot, since he found out he was a witch as a young boy, he would always spy on his favourite celebs and bands.

In the bathroom, Howard came out of the tub all clean and dewy. There was a strong scent of raspberries and cream and the room was smoky, due to how hot Howard liked his bathwater. He blew the candles out before wrapping his pink towel around his waist, whilst using another to dry his hair, still singing along to the radio.

_ "She was a red hot hoochie-coocha!" _

Then he noticed a message on the mirror, amongst the condensation. It read  _ 'MEET 2MORO, FOREST, AFTER DARK. SABOO.'  _

"Vince! Could you come in here for a moment?"

He sighed from the other room. "Sorry Jagger, I gotta go, it's been fun haha!" Then he circled his hand over the crystal ball and did the same with the row of candles. He placed his hands on his hips, sauntering into the bathroom.

"What's up?" Then He did a double take at the mirror. "Oh. My. Dark. Lord."

Howard froze with his hands in the towel in his damp hair and Vince squinted biting his lip. "What's it say Howard? Not too good with words." Howard turned his head slightly towards Vince.

"Huh? Oh right, yeah sorry. It says  _ 'MEET 2MORO, FOREST, AFTER DARK. SABOO.'  _ Good?"

"Yeah thanks."

"Don't mention it."

The shock from the message on the mirror floated in the air like the rose petals in the milky water.

* * * * *

The next day at Lamé House, Howard, Vince and Dean were lounging around in the common room at lunch time. It was a cosy place that had red chairs and white tables, as well as a sink area and microwave. There were some other students there doing their coursework, eating feta salads and drinking kale smoothies and such.

Howard was sitting back fiddling with the tassels on his boho poncho, nervously. He was also drinking a Capri-Sun. 

Dean had one leg on the ground and the other bent on top of it, so the heel was resting on the thigh. "So you guys got a mirror message too?"

Vince had his legs crossed, one over the other, and was playing with his hair.

"Yeah! I was...Well it doesn't matter really haha! But then all I could smell was raspberries and cream and I went into the bathroom and there it was in big letters."

Howard looked at Vince with a sparkle in his eyes, as he wasn't expecting him to really notice his smell. He felt quite flattered that he had bought it up, as well as saying it with a tone as sweet as his scent.

"Maybe there's something going on at this House. Something big, something powerful that's gonna knock us into next week, Sir." He sipped his drink again, then noticed the looks he was getting from the other boys. "Packed lunch."

"Ok. Well if the end is near, it was nice to meet ya fellas. Guess I'll see you at the forest tonight." Dean got up and then said cheekily "For the blood orgy."

Howard choked on his Capri-Sun and Vince laughed really hard, as though it was the funniest thing he's ever seen happen. 

"Kidding of course. Man I love you guys. What I do in my spare time is none of your business! Haha! Laters!" Howard choked again and Dean walked out the door of the common room and back out to the hall. 

"Heheheheheee!"

"It's not funny Vince. I could've sucked up my straw there!"

"Oh come on, it was pretty funny though."

"It wasn't!"

"It was! Haha! There'd never be any orgy Howard." He placed a comforting warm, manicured hand on Howard's knee and changed to a more warm tone of voice. "I'd make sure of it. I know how you feel about them things."

"Thanks Vince."

Penelope ran over to Howard and Vince. Today she was wearing a blush pink t-shirt that said  _ 'femme' _ in white italics, a pink and white chequered dungarees dress over the top, pink cat knee socks and pink Doctor Martens. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing fashion glasses along with a nude pink lip and cherry earrings.

"HEY LOVLIESSSS! How's it hangin. How we DOIN?" She threw up a 'hang loose' sign and then laughed and went in to hug Howard. He got up, rubbed her back and replied with,

"Not too bad thanks, little lady."

Then she went to hug Vince and he gave her a little kiss on the cheek, then stepped back taking her outfit in. He hated Penelope at first, but she was really starting to grow on him.

"You look well cool today, Penelope!"

"Aww thanks Vince! So sweet!"

"It's like candy floss, feminist chic."

She pouted and put a hand under her chin."You're too much!"

"You changed your nails! They were yellow yesterday, weren't they?" Asked Howard who had just realised they were baby pink today instead.

"Oh these!" She said wiggling her fingers in front of his face. "I change them to match my outfits, like every day!"

"Yeah that reminds me of someone." He said side eyeing Vince.

"What? It's gotta be done!"

"Your boyfriend's right y'know Howard!"

"Oh he's not….we're not...."

"OH! BILLIE, BABE OVER HERE!" Penelope called across the room.

There was a dark skinned girl with a gorgeous brown afro fast walking up to them screaming "PENNYYYY!"

She was wearing a yellow Miles Davis t-shirt tucked in to blue high waisted jeans, finished off with a pair of white converse. As she got closer the boys could see that she had hazel eyes and musical note earrings. Then to Penelope's surprise and the boys too, she threw her arms around her neck and kissed her softly on the lips. 

"Hi! So you're Vince and Howard! Nice to meet you, I'm Billie!" She drew both of them into a hug. 

"Oh my Jazz!", Howard placed his hands over his mouth, "Is that a Miles Davis t-shirt?"

"Ah! A jazz maverick. Indeed it is." Billie winked.

"Bitches Brew or Kind Of Blue?"

"I can't choose!"

"Neither can I! Haha! Well I have to say I'm impressed you have such sweet taste. We're a dying breed."

Billie moved her hands and started clicking. "I know right! I adore jazz! Ske boop a be bah!"

Howard responded with a "Skee bop diddly dah ooh!" Vince and Penelope were standing with their arms folded.

"Haha! He's found a soulmate."

"She does this all the time I dunno what she's on about! Haha! I just let her get on really."

"I know how you feel." Said Vince raising his eyebrows.

Suddenly the bell rang and lunch was over.

"Oh! Well it was lovely to meet you guys, I'll see you around!" Said Billie excitedly.

"SEE YOU BOYYYYS" Sang Penelope. "And Oh yeah I forgot, you can totally call me Penny if you want, Billie does. And I consider you guys friends!"

Then the lovely odd couple walked to get their bags and skipped arm in arm out of the common room to their lesson. Howard and Vince parted ways to go to Drama and Art, thinking about what Penny had said about them being boyfriends.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry about the Australian dialect, it helped me when it came to the character. Charles Lamé is played by Noel Fielding. So enjoy that haha!

Back at the boys' house that evening, the sound of Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac playing loudly was coming from Vince's bedroom. Vince was singing along and when Howard opened the door there was a strong smell of ylang ylang incense as he was twirling around like Stevie Nicks in a flowy, low neck constellation top.

_ "She is like a cat in the dark and then she is the darkness. Hmmmm. Mmmmm mmm mm mmm…" _

He had his eyes closed and Howard could tell he was really feeling the music. He had originally gone in there to ask him if he was nearly ready for their forest meeting with Saboo, but suddenly all his words left his mouth and he was starstruck by the wonder in front of him.

_ "Would you stay if she promised you heaven?..." _

Vince was twisting his wrists and rolling his shoulders now and the smoke from the incense made him look almost sensual, like he was on stage. Howard snapped himself out of his fantasy and coughed.

"Ahem. Vince?" Vince was still twirling and moving his arms around like Kate Bush, then he opened his eyes and looked at Howard.

"Mmm. Wha? Sorry Howard I was in a witch trance haha! You know what I'm like when I'm getting ready."

"All good, little man. Just um. We gotta be there soon, the moon's coming out so not too long yeah?" He turned to leave, going into Vince's room was uncharted territory for Howard and he felt as if he was intruding.

But Vince held out his hands, now wiggling his hips and fingers, then said "Howard? Dance with me?" And bit his lip.

Howard stared for a while and then remembered to blink before replying with,  "Me? No I'm sure you don't want me cramping your style, Sir."

"I don't care, I just want you to dance with me." His tone was sweet and his blue eyes were wide and inviting almost like he was casting a spell on Howard without knowing it.

"Vince, has that ylang ylang gone to your head? You're all seductive."

"It's not the incense Howard. I wanna groove with you." 

Howard gave in,  "Alright then, but just a quick float around the floor."

Vince's face lit up as Howard took his hands, they were soft and warm, like they were carved by angels. 

They both danced slowly hand in hand and then Howard unexpectedly dipped Vince which made him go "WOO! HAHA!", then he twirled him around and they both wiggled their hips together doing their best Stevie Nicks impressions. 

_ "Rhiannnnnnnnnnnon." _

Howard swayed to the beat while Vince twirled until he was dizzy. He lost balance and found himself with one leg bent in the air and his arms around Howard's neck, looking up at him laughing. "Hehehehe." He put their foreheads together while trying to breathe. Howard found his arms around Vince's waist to keep him steady.

"You alright there, Vince. Bit dizzy? Haha!"

"Hahahaaa!"

Howard threw his head back in fits of laughter, causing Vince's head to fit into his neck like a puzzle piece while he was hissing with laughter himself. The boys both chuckled a while and then Howard stood Vince upright properly, broke them apart and went to the door.

"Ahhh. Well that was nice Vince, thanks. I'm gonna go get ready now, see you in a while yeah?"

"Yeah." Vince said ruffling his hair and giggling to himself, Howard left the room and went to finish getting dressed. Singing as he left.

_ "Dreams unwind, love's a state of mind…" _

Howard left the house wearing a pair of velvet red trousers with black shoes. On the top, a dark purple turtleneck with a boho pattern poncho draped over the top of it. He polished this all off with a bright orange straw hat over that gorgeous brown hair, and a selenite pendant around his neck for protection. 

Vince just threw on a pair of leather trousers to go with his flowy constellation top, and a pair of dark blue boots patterned with white stars. He left his hair down and off they went to the Forest…

* * * * *

As Howard and Vince walked out into the clearing an owl hooted from a nearby tree, looked at them and then flew off.

"I think it wants us to follow it." Said Howard.

The stars shone brightly in the night sky and the moon was almost full, but not quite. As they ventured on following the owl, crunching on fallen leaves as they went, they were faced with a large tree stump table and smaller ones that seated Dean and Saboo. On the larger one, someone or something else they couldn't quite make out in the candle light. 

The owl hooted again, then flapped mid air, before landing on Dean's shoulder. It was clear that this was a barn owl and obviously Dean's familiar. 

"Good girl, Snow. Good girl." Said Dean petting her.

"Aww how cute is she haha! Hello Snow." Said Vince getting close to the owl, stroking her gently on the head with his finger. But then was taken aback by the sound of,

"OHHH I CAN'T SEE A THING OUT HERE. IT'S AS DARK AS MY MUM'S ATTIC!"

Exclaimed a rather loud, whiny voice coming from the shape they couldn't make out earlier.

"Right! One second!"

Saboo clapped his hands and suddenly some street lamps emerged from the ground, causing it to rumble. They lit the forest up like a Jack O Lantern or like they were on the set of a folk Music Video. Howard and Vince looked around in wonderment, as this was a pretty magical thing to happen right before their eyes. Snow flapped her wings in excitement. 

The mysterious shape was now visible and there was a pink octopus looking thing on the tree stump in front of them. 

"Ohh Saboo my bum is killing me down ere. Why can't I go on your shoulder like Snow??"

"Because I don't like you touching me."

"Fair Enuff!"

"Um. What's going on here?" Vince chimed in.

"Ah Vince! Howard! You made it! Pull up a stump!" Saboo gestured and two more stumps came out of the ground.

"This, if you haven't guessed, is my familiar Tony Harrison."

"Nice to meet you boys! I'm Saboo's familiar!"

"Against my will, I might add! I cannot stress that enough!"

Howard moved his hands around gesturing for an explanation.

"Yeah that's all very good and well Sir, but why are we here? I mean what do you need from us?"

"Yeah why the cryptic mirror message, dude?" Asked Dean folding his arms. Tony looked at Saboo as if to ask if he could take the floor. Saboo nodded so Tony answered with,

"Well. Boys! My ed is like a radio!"

"Yeah same size and everything."

"Ignoring that, Saboo, you slaaag! Anyway I can tune in and tune out to whatever I want. Picking up signals of distress or.."

"Get to the point, pound of flesh."

"Basically, Charles Lamé is coming back Halloween Night!"

"What? Woah, what's he coming back for?" Asked Vince slightly higher in pitch than he would have liked. 

"He's gonna wreak havoc and attempt to get his building back!"

"Man, that's some petty shit right there." Said Dean picking at his nails. Saboo nodded slowly and said crossing his legs like he was on a throne,

"Too right! For too long now Witches, magical beings and non magical ones have been burned in fires along with schools. He sets em up every year, but this year. It's up to us to take him down!"

"Yeah all the way dahn. Dahn under!"

"He's a menace. He's done 'Lamé House The First', 'La.Mé College', 'Charles House', 'The-."

"Hang on. Charles House? My Mother went there when she was raising me and she didn't come home...News said she died in a fire."

"Aww Howard. I'm so sorry." Vince said rubbing his shoulder.

"Oh that's rough man." Said Dean giving him a hug, even Snow placed a wing on his back. Saboo and Tony bowed their heads.

"Oh that Aussie Bastard's going down!" Howard said with a fire in his eyes and anger in his voice.

"Ok. Wait. If Charles Lamé's ghost is destroyed once and for all. Everyone is safe forever?!" Asked Vince trying to get his head around this. 

"That's correct Stevie Nicks! Witches are stronger together. This time round you're like a pack a wolves!"

"There have never been this many in one facility, so logically we should be able to take him down!" Saboo raised a fist.

"Wow. We'll be like heroes. Haha! Cool!"

"Damn right, so boys Welcome to the Coven! He drew them all closer.

"Here's the plan…"

* * * * *

It was evening, with just under an hour to go before Halloween the House's annual party was being held in the sports hall. Traditional, cheesy Halloween songs were playing accompanied by a range of party snacks from bat biscuits and jelly spiders to pizza and ice cream. Students danced around with cups of fizzy pop or alcohol in hand and teachers were monster mashing the night away. The hall was decked out in fancy orange lights, cobwebs, skeletons and pumpkins. Penelope was dressed in an Alice from 'Alice In Wonderland' costume while Billie came to the party dressed as Edward ScissorHands. Her face painted with fake scars as well as on her lips, she had pieces of metallic card attached to some gloves she had thrown on - with the help of her girlfriend. Penelope had a perfectly drawn red heart, as she wanted to make her Alice look more out there, which she succeeded at.

"Ohhhh Billie. I just love Halloween!"

"Me too, love. Me too." 

Dean strutted into the room dressed as Frank N Furter from his favourite film 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' He did his best Tim Curry impression, being American. 

"It's not easy having a good time."

Then in walked Saboo not wearing a hat, his beautiful fluffy curls on show with two little curls hanging down. He was decked out in a vibrant pumpkin orange suit ensemble printed with black pumpkins. Along with this he had a plain black shirt. His tie was a skeleton arm and hand, and his shoes were orange chelsea boots. He walked over to Dean with wide eyes and blinking, almost not recognising him. 

"Hey Dean, you look A MAZING!"

"You're not so bad yourself, pumpkin. Where's your familiar?"

Saboo pointed Tony out.

"Over by the snack table pretending to be a pumpkin with roots." He rolled his eyes.

"I'M A PUMPKIN. I FEEL LIKE I REALLY AM A SEXY PUMPKINNN!" Tony downed some bloody mary that was near.

"O.k." Said Dean turning slowly back to Saboo.

"Don't ask! Any sign of Vince and Howard?"

Dean pouted and scanned the hall looking for them.

"Mmmm no, not yet. I'm sure they'll turn up soon."

"I hope so." Saboo ruffled his hair and Dean wiggled his leg nervously. 

Then, as if on cue Vince and Howard made an appearance as Morticia Adams and Sherlock Holmes. 

"Ohhhh! Hi lady and gent! You made it! Saboo and Dean are over there!" Tony welcomed them and pointed over to where the other witches were standing. 

"Uh. Thanks." Said Vince.

Tony turned to the pumpkin next to him and started to flirt with it. "Alright, gorgeous! After this party! Back to my place? I got a special penis!" Then he wiggled his tongue. Howard grabbed Vince and shoved him over to the witches, to escape what he had just seen.

"Ok. I need to wash my eyes out. Vince, let's walk. No time to waste, c'mon."

"Hey Saboo, Dean. You guys look well cool." Then licking his cherry red lips, "Dean you look quite sexy."

"Ah thanks doll. You too."

Saboo looked at Howard smiling. "Sherlock Holmes?"

"Haha a man of literature. Yes Sir." Howard replied placing the pipe in his mouth. 

"Nice. So you guys. Listen. I don't think we have much time. Char-."

Suddenly the clock struck 12, then the hall was filled with purple smoke. Everyone ran around in panic while Penelope asked drunkly "Is this part of the entertainment?" But it came out as "sisparfenttainmer?" Billie took her hand and made her run. There was a rumbling and the picture on the banner in the hall of Charles Lamé came to life.

"Guess it's time." Said Vince bracing himself.

A man was standing in front of them in a safari outfit consisting of khaki shorts, a white vest top and bushy white moustache emerged from the photo.

"Oh Hells Bells." Said Howard slightly terrified, rubbing the crystals in his pocket for comfort. 

_ "I'm Charles Lamé an I come from down under. _

_ Said I'm Charles Lamé an I come from down under. _

_ An if you think you can git away.  _

_ Boy git riddy to feel the thunder. _

_ Built a house in the blazing heat while taking off my vist. _

_ 5 types of sunburn, I know it's not the bist. _

_ But it's all 100 percent true, don't call me no liar. _

_ Came beck Halloween night to sit you all on fire. _

_ Cos I'm Chazza, an I don't mind if I didgeridoo! _

_ Yeah I'm Chazza, an I don't mind if I didgeridoo! _

_ This Halloweeeeeeen. _

_ Gonna set fire to youuuu." _

* * * * *

Charles addressed himself.

"Gday mates. I-." Then he did a double take.

"Oh bloody ell is thet my photo, looks horrible. Why couldn't they pick the one of me shot from the lift. Thet's my bist side. Oh will."

Howard had a sudden burst of courage and stepped out in front of all the witches, who were standing in fighting formation. 

"Hey Lamé! Get ready to feel your own thunder, Sir."

"Ah Howard Moon. I remimber your Mother."

"Don't you talk about my Mother, you Aussie prick!"

"And who are these lot? Your witchy mates?"

"Actually it's my coven Sir. Something you'll never have. Friends."

"I don't need friends mate, got me Sheila."

Everyone else wondered what was going on right now. Some looked at their drinks thinking that the alcohol had something to do with it.

"You're going down you batty crease! Down fucking under!"

"You think I hevn't heard thet one bifore mate?"

"Oh let's end this son of a bitch." Said Dean.

One by one the witches raised their hands and created a big fire ball between them. Saboo said to Vince and Howard.

"YOU GUYS READY?"

"YEAH!" They replied.

"What's this mate?" Asked Charles.

They began to cast a crimp spell which made the magic more powerful with every line.

_ "Oo Lamé we're gonna burn you down. _

_ Oo Lamé now you're in our town. _

_ Gonna throw you on the barbie, just like a shrimp. _

_ Gonna leave with more than just a limp. _

_ Throwin you a hot ball of orangey flavour. _

_ Giving you a taste of your own medicine." _

"Aaaaaaaaa! No thet's nof fair! I always wiiiin."

"This is for my Mother, you cock!" Said Howard through gritted teeth. They all threw their hands towards him as quick as a flash and Charles was killed instantly, disappearing in a puff of purple smoke, like the one he appeared in.

"Shit mate!"

The photo of him dropped to the floor and that burned too. The sound of the flames like a victory march. Some students looked on in awe and others cried

"OMG they're witches!"

"Evil!"

"Weirdos!"

The boys looked upset and defeated, I mean it's not like they just saved the House or anything.

Billie rushed over with Penelope and shouted "HEY THEY'RE NOT WEIRDOS, THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS!"

"YAAHMINETOOO!"

"Yeah you guys are being a little salty. I mean we just saved you all from being burned alive." Dean said picking at his nails.

There were murmurs from people starting to agree and come round to the idea that there were Witches in their facility. Next came a round of "thank yous." As well as hugs from some, and pats on the shoulder.

Vince went outside to smoke with Billie, as it was all too much for him and they were dying for a cigarette.

Saboo and Dean snuck into the Caretaker's closet. They were both off their faces but a lot of tension was released as Dean removed Saboo's blazer.

Howard was left holding back Penelope's hair as she threw up into the bin. He conjured up some cat's claw tea so she wouldn't get a stomach ache in the morning. She smiled wearily and thanked him.

Meanwhile Tony was dragging his hot pumpkin hook up out the door.

"Oh! Sweetheart you're so naughty! Gonna give you all my lovin tonight!"

This night was gonna take a while to sink in and it would have a lingering effect on everyone, but at least Vince, Howard, Dean and Saboo knew who they're real friends were.

* * * * *

_ Cemetery Blues _ was crackling away on the record player. Howard preferred the crooning sounds of Bessie Smith, so went for that version instead.

He was in his pyjamas all cosy, reading a book, turning the pages with his mind.

Vince was wearing his too, after he brushed his teeth he emerged from the bathroom. There was that smell again, coming from Howard. Raspberries and cream. Vince took a deep breath and strolled over to where Howard was sitting on his favourite armchair, swinging his legs one by one on to his lap. He straddled him and held the back of his neck as well as his gaze, then with Howard looking back into his eyes, they kissed softly. Vince's lips were warm and magical. Howard was under his spell, so in love. They naturally pulled away from each other at the same time when finished. Vince laughed softly and said.

"Um. I got talking to Billie after the party about how she met Penny. And she said you don't realise sometimes that the person you love, might have been there all along." Howard smiled and his eyes watered slightly.

"And that night, when you were there smellin all sweet Howard, I just had a desire to kiss you ever since."

"Vince. I almost did when we danced.

You're one of the seven wonders, Stevie Nicks sang about. In….Seven Wonders."

Vince smiled widely at this and Howard said,

"I love you, you son of a witch."

Howard set his book on the side table and pulled Vince into a more passionate kiss, before lifting him up so he was holding him in his arms. It felt right. The candles burned brightly and the sweet sounds of Bessie were fading away, leaving just crackling. Howard pulled away still holding Vince.

"Dance with me?"

"I'd love to."

The record turned, as they did. They pressed foreheads again all giggly, just like when Vince was dizzy the first time.

Only this time, Howard was dizzy too.

It was a sensation they could share.


End file.
